A life of halves

I've never been one to worry too much about weight. I was a tall skinny kid who developed hips in my teen years (sadly not a matching pair of breasts) and then in college and my twenties I kept everything even stevens by lots of dancing, skipping meals, working four part time jobs, etc. My late 20's and early 30's brought on a weight gain due to a marriage and then the loss of that weight through divorce. Anyway, suffice to say I had the normal thoughts a woman would have about her shape but I never had to go on lots of diets.

Alas, this was not to continue (can you HEAR the violins, can you, CAN YOU??). A baby at 40 and I'm still fighting off the weight gain. Anyway, I got into fitness a bit, triathlon a bit (I am the least habitual person you'll ever meet so nothing sticks, I'm like the wrong side of velcro!).

Now I realise I am not a woman who is a candidate for Biggest Loser. But I have a great deal of respect for anyone who is trying to get the scale to go down the otherway, regardless of whether it's 10lbs or 100lbs. To control diet, to make time to exercise, to drink water, to get everyone around you on board, to exercise self control in the face of tempation, the deck is stacked against you to be sure.

I have been reading a book called 'In Defense of Food' by Michael Pollan. Enlightening to say the least. There is so much advise out there and so many 'experts'. I have tried a few things with limited results - limited either because the loss wasn't notable or I didn't keep it off (back to that least habitual thing). So what's a poor 'I am NOT weighint THAT!' girl to do??

Enter the land of halves. Let's face it - all portions are too big in the western diet. I am NOT going to starve. So if I take what's in front of me and 'break' it in half, I'll A. enjoy the food and shut off the hunger alarm and B. not overeat and C. possibly eat the rest in a couple of hours.

It seems to be working - the ultimate result is a few smaller meals. It does mean stopping yourself. It means eating with AWARENESS. It means not caving in. It means feeling a little hungry in the day. But as long as your blood sugar level is happy (I must keep mine up a little bit or no one wants to come near me) and you're hydrated and feeling good, you're ok.

What we're talking about is portion size. A protein portion should just fit in the palm of your hand. A 1/2 pound cheeseburger (sure it's a HALF of a POUND but don't be a smartass!) doesn't do that, or a full size chicken breast for that matter.

Eating WITHOUT thinking spells weight gain, and possibly health problems. Eating WITH thought brings about a bit of control, enjoyment and knowledge. By knowledge I mean you KNOW what you're eating, you've thought about it. It's something you know ticks all the boxes - some protein, a little bit of carb and fat (try and stay as far from processed anything as you can). Here is an example: In London on way to a meeting. Gotta find something I can eat but don't want too much. Don't want a sandwich. Find a falafel and humous and salad wrap - cut into two pieces. Perfect. Ate one at the meeting and one a couple of hours later waiting for the train home.

Sure, I'm enthusiastic now but that's because in 5 days I've seen results. And the first day is always the hardest, after that it starts to make sense and come a bit easier.

Wow, so that was preachy. But I like to share when I get excited about something.
I have half decaf, half-n-half, half a wine so it was only a matter of time, wasn't it?

Oh, the one thing I don't sacrifice is breakfast - I may not eat much if I don't feel like it but breakfast shouldn't be too skimpy (or skipped at all). A piece of toast - no way is that gonna hold ya. A pain chocolat? Now that's just silly afterall this is a kind of diet. But a piece of toast with a hard (or soft) boiled egg - good. It's the lunch and dinner that can be pared down and the snacks need to be pared down and REAL. Bag of Doritos? Not real. An apple? Real. 1/2 pack of salted peanuts? Real. Pringles? Definitely not real. A Snickers, nope. Some dried fruit and seeds? In small portions, good.

Anyway, you get the idea. Oh, with strenuous exercise, make sure you get your calories in - halves is probably not for you!

later half a tater

So it's not daily, but it's there!

Hello me (and you if anyone else is reading). We've made it through three full weeks of school and are now well into October! Hooray. The weather is changing and soup is on the stove. The indian summer here was beautiful to say the least, but I think it's on the wane.

I had hoped to sit down every day and add some witty, interesting, possibly humourous post - it hasn't happened. Much as cleaning the house on a regular basis hasn't, tidying toys, nope, nightly dishes, uh-uh, clothes always put up, that would be NO Bob. (Sigh). It just doesn't come naturally. What to do? How do we 'g' ourselves up? How do we motivate ourselves to carry out the most mundane of tasks when we are so flamin' tired?? Everyone else's needs get met (mostly) and then the house?? The bank accounts?? The cooking and cleaning?? Oh dear. How do those amazing women do it all??

I suspect they don't sit on their butts at 7:00 to eat something and watch Voyager reruns. I suspect they don't go to bed at 9:30 whenever they can (or earlier if we're really cooking with lazy gas). I suspect their husband is a bit more anal and keeps up with stuff as much as they do. I suspect they hire someone. Hmmmm. Not an option right now so, darn it, it looks like it's going to have to be me. Poor house. Poor family. Last seen gasping for last breath underneath a pile of papers, clothing, books and random stuff. They didn't sign up for this, did they? I feel like I am letting them (and myself) down.

But am I really??? Houses are lived in - that's what families do. There is so much going on in a four year old's life, does it matter that her toys aren't picked up daily or that things end up where they are dropped? Well, a little bit, it does. If I want her to be different - to learn about taking care of her things and keeping up with the endless wave of mess, then I must lead by example. I know this and I already see signs that she is following my hopeless lead.

I WILL get better. I need to go to something like LAA (Lazy Ass Anonymous) or have some treatment for Allergic to doing stuff after 4pm. I have great waves of motivation at 10am (any body clock specialist will tell you this is true) but 4pm? Fahgitabowtit.

Well, in the time it took me to type this I coulda done the dishes. My computer is a constant source of distraction - I can procrastinate indefinitely thanks to the internet!

Ok, ok, I'm going.
Later tater.

First day of school

Howdy folks (well, me actually but I'll pretend I'm not the only follower!).

It's been a couple of weeks. Today is the first major milestone for a four year old here in the UK. FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL. I did well. Not too teary, just a little bit as I walked away. My girl looked lovely, very grown up and walked in without a hitch or a single glance backward. Well done grasshopper. Now I teach how to cook dinner.

What have I done with my two hour window of time?? Well, let's see! There's the glider lesson, the bikini wax, the phone book to memorise and then of course I need to alphabetise my paperback collection...oh wait! Two HOURS. That's right folks, two whole hours for the first four months. Half days. Which is lucky really because I can get a little bit done in the mornings and still have afternoons to play. I know you are thinking I can't do math - 9am to 12pm is THREE hours. But you see, it's a 30 minute walk there and back, so I have to leave time to travel. We're going to try out the bikes tomorrow and see how we get on.

My husband asked me on the way back if this day had brought back any memories for me of my first day of school. You see, I can't remember it, not a thing. He can remember quite alot from early childhood, including his first day of school. I hope my little girl will remember. Hopefully her memory will be more like her dad's when it comes to long term (his short term memory? Fahgitabodit). I DO remember some things, don't get me wrong. Just not the first day. Do you?

With only one hour left before I have to start heading back up the road I am off to the gym - I am sure they have missed me in there since July. My waistline has most certainly missed it.

Later tater

A bit cooler, no?

It has been confirmed - my parents in Arkansas, on the Mississippi border, have said they are experiencing unseasonally cool temperatures today (Aug 23). Which proves it. The earth has shifted slightly on it's axis, because, my friends - I have unpacked. You may have noticed strange goings-on - the car won't start, all the cupboard doors are open, the grass is suddenly much shorter, the children remember their manners or to eat over their bowl of cereal, your husband remembers more than one thing and can find his own sunglasses because HE PUT THEM IN THE SUNGLASS BOWL. Yes, my friends, times they are a-changin'.

And it's weird how things work out - how the universe looks after you. I cleaned my downstairs and I've just received a message from a very great girlfriend whom I haven't seen in weeks and weeks that she is dropping by on her way to the inlaws. My daughter did observe that I had tidied the downstairs at which point she asked 'Why are you cleaning the house Mommy? Is someone coming over?' to which I replied 'No, I am cleaning the house so we can actually invite people over'. And now we already have our first guest! Timing is everything. I just can't let them into my room - the mountain of clothes on my bed is unbelievable!

Later tater

Saga of the unpacking

Well, it continues to put it simply. Have you ever intended to do something, at say, 9am, and then gone back to bed for two hours and then realise it's been two hours and think 'Damn! I gotta get up!' so you get up and then you think 'yep, it's time' and you get yourself dressed and ready and then say 'just after I rearrange the furniture down here and hang some pictures and dust (and you HATE dusting) and re-organise the kitchen cabinets'. Well, that's where I am.

Why do we put off the things we don't enjoy just to prolong the agony! And then, when we finally do the thing we hate?? We say something ridiculous like, 'Oh. That didn't take very long' or 'Oh, that wasn't so bad, why did I think it was going to be that bad?'. It's like putting off going to the dentist for a couple of years for fear of what could happen and then he says 'just watch that one in the back, otherwise you're good' and you think 'wow, ok'.

And I know what you're thinking - you're thinking she's sitting here typing when she could just reach down by her feet and grab that makeup bag and unpack it really quickly. Yeah, I could, but then I am sure the universe will cease to exist as I know it. As badly as I WANT an organised tidy little world, I don't want to do much to get it that way. Having said that, when I DO decide to clean something or organise the loft or bathroom or kitchen - LOOK OUT. I become incredibly focused and machine-like. Those are good days.

Later tater.

And that's how you have a party!

Welcome back (that would be addressed to me as I am the only one following this right now).

So, today the weather is beautiful (again). Summer seems to be making a comeback here in the UK. Well, part of it anyway. A perfect day for a one year old indian boy's birthday party. And what, you ask, am I doing at a one year old indian boy's birthday party? Do I randomly select parties to experience different cultures? Am I really that desperate not to unpack my cases?? Yes. But that's not why I found myself at a party for a little boy. I was the children's entertainment. Me just as I am. Children find me very funny and entertaining. Actually, I have started doing parties this summer, focusing mainly on my music (throwing in some silliness, party games and balloon pets for good measure). Songs were in English, just in case you were wondering.

Today was something truly special. This party was GREAT. The food was GREAT. The people were very kind and the children were all beautiful. And there was very little organisation. Folks wandered in, children joined in the singing or didn't. I stopped to eat because all the children had peeled off one by one to eat with their parents. We did a supersonic version of Pass the Parcel and Musical Statues (both were finished in under 10 minutes). Anyone who has ever been to a kid's party knows that just P the P alone can take up to several days depending on number of children and how many have no idea how to pass the parcel along. And then we did a lovely rendition of 'Happy Birthday' to the man of the day who was nearly dropped in the huge cake by his very excited father. Candle burns to the face and a crown of icing would not have made for a great birthday portrait. It was controlled chaos. I was thrilled to be there and experience it.

One man joined me in the kitchen where I ate my plate of vegetarian indian food (dee-licous). He asked me about entertaining, children not men. And then our conversation turned to cultures, where the families were from, etc. He made an interesting observation. He and his wife went to Mexico two years ago, Cancun to be exact. He said it reminded him of how the Brits travel to Spain. Not to experience the culture they are travelling to but only to harness a bit of sunshine and relaxation while pretending they are still in England. I had never thought of it but this is true. Cancun (having never been but know folks who have) is just alot of beachside hotels and shops and resorts catering to American tourism. And now of course European tourism as well because Mexico is high on the list here. Tired of your fish and chips and beer in Spain? Well then, go to Cancun and get your fajitas and hamburgers and American beer in Mexico - and never have to speak a word of spanish in either country! Hooray!

Personally, I WANT to try and make people suffer through my attempts to speak the language. I want to know where the locals eat, where is the quietest beach, the ruins, cathedrals, etc. It's called travel. Otherwise they would call it something different like 'home away from home' or 'be as unadventurous as you like with a tan!'. I don't know. Just my opinion is all. I will say this, however, recently I have come to see the allure of a resort holiday - kid's clubs, drinks and food sorted, a pool, sleep, and no surprises. Always planning your own holiday, accommodating others schedules, trying to fit it all in, it's flaming exhausting! I know, poor me, I travel abroad and get worn out going to lots of sunny places in America, boo-hoo!! But as I may have mentioned, I moved abroad to see places even further afield, not always return to my roots. But hey, they are called roots for a reason and some of us heed the call more often than others. Some are deaf to the call or have in fact transplanted themselves happily and permanently. I haven't done this and don't think I will. I wonder what my daughter will do? If she lives here a few more years she will feel the pull of England. I wonder what her attitude will be like. Hopefully she'll be into the world and want to experience it all for herself.

I had a great time, earned a bit of cash, and now - yes, the time has come. It's time to unpack.
Maybe I can find one more party to crash.

Catch you on the flipside.

The Art of Unpacking (or not)

Hey! I've got one follower! Ok, so I am the follower, but it's a start. I'm not writing so much for the following but for the needing to sit and do this. A cathartic writing experience. A writing burp. Hear that? Ah, I feel better already.

Today's Pro and Con/Do and Don't List:

Things I Can Do if I Don't Unpack Now:

1. Add to my blog
2. Shower
3. Nibble on sweets brought over from the States.
4. Read (just finished Julie/Julia)
5. Sleep (one hour nap today)
6. Think about stuff (constantly)
7. Sit outside and think about stuff and/or read (did that twice)
8. Go to the pub in an hour (after #2)
9. Complain about how badly I need to pack
10. Hold off on laundry (like this is any different to any other day, with or without suitcases)

Things I Can Do IF I Unpack Now:

1. Wear something different
2. Begin laundry (and we now all know how I feel about THAT)
3. Know where all the stuff is (and there is alot of STUFF)
4. Skype to our DC friends who wrote their address in a note - which is packed (shoulda stamped it on my forehead)
5. Use my favourite deoderant (which is packed)
6. Offer my child something else to wear besides the dregs of her dresser drawers.
7. Actually do something productive (besides writing on my blog, of course. Oh, and sleeping.)
8. Surprise the ever living crap out of my husband. (Now why would I want to do THAT??)
9. Walk in my bedroom without tripping over a suitcase (of which there are three).
10. Allow my husband to walk through the bedroom without tripping.

I know, I know, decisions decisions. I mean, what to do? If I unpack, well, I'm unpacked. If I don't unpack I could live out of these cases for, hell, months! I packed three weeks worth of stuff! Actually, it was much more than three weeks. I did try and at least touch each article of clothing I brought - I was by far the worst sufferer of overpack-itis. And now I am suffering from i-don't-wanna-unpack-itis. If I unpack, it's over itsn't it? The holiday, over. Done. But I could do with some clean shirts. All my faves are in the case rolled up into tiny cloth sausages. Time to unroll. Yeah, yeah...hey, what's this? A MAGAZINE?? Hmmmm.

I'll let you know how I get on.

Catch you on the flipside.